


irony

by imposterhuman



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Confused Steve Rogers, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Identity Porn, Identity Reveal, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark Friendship, M/M, Mutual Pining, No Angst, Pepper Potts & Tony Stark Friendship, Pining Steve Rogers, Pining Tony Stark, Team as Family, Tony Being Tony, Tony Stark Does What He Wants, arent i clever, irony is iron man/tony stark, we're playing like its 2012 up in this bitch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2019-06-21
Packaged: 2020-05-14 00:44:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19262527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imposterhuman/pseuds/imposterhuman
Summary: “You know what, guys?” Tony announced, spreading his arms. “Iamdating Iron Man.”or, identity porn with a side of pining





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> for my 100th work on ao3, have some good old fashioned identity porn
> 
> story is fully written- updates will likely be once a day, unless i forget whoops
> 
> enjoy!

“Stop laughing,” Tony grumbled, flopping down on the sofa next to his best friends. “Seriously, stop it. I swear, I will kill you both.”

 

“I’m not sure I can,” Rhodey wheezed, doubled over. “This is too good.”

 

Pepper was similarly flushed, tears leaking from her eyes. Her normal composure had been traded for endless giggles. “I’m printing out every single headline, just so you know. And framing them.”

 

“I hate you both,” said Tony. He stared at the TV screen in dismay. “I thought my statement- perfectly mature, might I add- was supposed to put an end to this!”

 

The aforementioned statement was looping, courtesy of JARVIS, with the headlines prominently displayed.

 

_ “Mr. Stark!” a reporter shouted, waving his notebook. “Mr. Stark, can you tell us about your relationship with the Avenger Iron Man?” _

 

_ “He’s my bodyguard,” Tony said, raising an eyebrow. It was his usual response; after all, only four people knew that  _ he  _ was Iron Man. The bodyguard story was easiest. “You all know this. I say this every time you ask.” _

 

_ “Then would you care to comment on the pictures floating around of you two kissing?” _

 

_ Tony hadn’t been rendered speechless many times in his life. In fact, he could probably count on one hand the situations where he hadn’t had a quip ready. But he couldn’t help the way his mouth gaped open and his brain couldn’t think of a single word to say. “I’m sorry, what?” he said finally.  _

 

_ “Are you dating Iron Man?” the reporter pressed.  _

 

_ “No,” Tony said firmly. “I am most definitely  _ not  _ dating Iron Man. What a dumb question. Whoever you work for should fire you.” _

 

The banner across the screen said  _ Tony Stark: Engaged to Iron Man?  _ Tony didn’t want to know how the press had arrived at that conclusion. Rhodey and Pepper were no help, too busy cracking up at his predicament. 

 

Rhodey met his eyes. “When’s the wedding?” he cackled, sending him and Pepper into renewed fits. 

 

“Yeah, laugh it up,” Tony seethed. “I’m going to end up doing something really stupid about this, you know.”

 

“That’s what makes it so hilarious,” Rhodey snorted, finally getting himself under control.

 

“If I have to do damage control on the funniest moment in my life, I’m going to be pissed,” Pepper warned, wagging a finger in Tony’s face. “Don’t ruin this for me.”

 

Before Tony could respond, Clint walked into the room. “Tony, hey,” he called. “Congrats on finally getting with Iron Man! You gonna introduce him to the team anytime soon sans helmet?”

 

“Oh, fuck it,” Tony snapped. 

 

“Oh, god, Tony,  _ no _ ,” Pepper buried her face in her hands. 

 

Tony stood up violently, brushing past a shocked Clint. Rhodey and Pepper followed on his heels as he stormed into the elevator. “J, down,” he said. “Call me a reporter or two.”

 

“Sir, are you sure this is a good idea?” JARVIS asked. 

 

“Not at all,” Tony said breezily, messing up his shirt and loosening his tie. “Pepper pot, how’s my hair?”

 

“Terrible,” she answered on reflex. 

 

“Good, I want to look thoroughly debauched.”

 

Rhodey groaned loudly. “God, you’re the worst.”

 

Tony winked and made finger guns. “J, do we have an audience?”

 

“Unfortunately, Sir.”

 

“Aw, don’t be like that,” Tony crooned, running his fingers through his hair and messing it up more. “Time to go make some bad choices! Honey Bear, you wanna give me a hickey?”

 

“Never in my life have I wanted to do something less,” Rhodey crossed his arms.

 

Tony shrugged. “Your loss. Pep?”

 

“I’d rather chew off my own finger.”

 

“Violent, but you got your point across,” he nodded gravely. “Okay, let’s do this.”

 

“Or, maybe, hypothetically, we could not?” Rhodey pestered, but he and Pepper still followed Tony out of the elevator, coming to a stop outside of the Tower. The crowd was already huge; Tony did know how to put on a show and the press knew it.

 

“You know what, guys?” he announced, spreading his arms. “I  _ am  _ dating Iron Man.”

 

“Mr. Stark-” one of the reporters started, but Tony steamrolled over him.

 

“And he’s great in bed,” Tony continued, heedless of Pepper’s exasperated glare. “A generous lover, as you can see.”

 

“Tony-” that one was Rhodey; Tony ignored him.

 

“Very romantic on top of it all. I live in a rom com,” finished Tony, glaring at the hastily assembled press corps. “So fuck off now and write your stories. And yes, you can quote me on all of this.”

 

“ _ Anthony Edward Stark _ ,” Pepper hissed, grabbing his arm and dragging him bodily away from the pool of clamoring reporters. “Why did you do that?”

 

“Would it surprise you if I said that I wasn’t thinking?” Tony smiled at her, trying to look innocent and gain her sympathy.

 

“It would not surprise me if you admitted right now that you’ve never had a thought in your life,” she deadpanned. “Now I have to do damage control, you dick.”

 

“I could do it,” Tony offered. 

 

“ _ No _ .”

 

Tony pouted but didn’t argue.

 

“I’ve gotta admit,” Rhodey said once they were back in the elevator. “I thought you were going to go all  _ I am Iron Man _ . This is not where I saw this going.”

 

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Tony scoffed. “If I reveal my secret identity, it’s going to be a hundred times more dramatic. Expect cannons. And glitter.”

 

Pepper pinched the bridge of her nose. “Glitter is banned,” she reminded him. “And the day you do anything with cannons is the day I quit.”

 

“You’ve been saying that for twenty years, Pep,” Tony teased, fixing his hair. “Just admit it, you love me.”

 

Pepper’s smirk was nothing short of vicious. “Hey, Tony?” she asked innocently. “What are you going to do about Steve?”

 

Rhodey whistled in surprise. “You didn’t think this one through, Tones.”

 

Steve and Tony had an almost-relationship; or, Tony had a massive crush on Steve and Steve sort of tolerated him (but seemed more than a little chummy with Iron Man). It was a work in progress, in Tony’s opinion. Only, he had destroyed any and all progress by proclaiming himself Iron Man’s secret gay lover. 

  
“Fuck,” Tony cursed, summing up all of his feelings. Rhodey and Pepper were cackling again at his idiocy. He couldn’t blame them. “ _ Fuck _ .”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> steves pov! 
> 
> enjoy :)

Steve wasn’t sure where he went wrong, if he was being honest. Maybe it was when he woke up in the new century and promptly imprinted on the first person he saw- Tony Stark. Maybe it was when he fell for the man who was so out of his league that they weren’t even playing the same sport. Maybe it was when he did the same for the man’s metal bodyguard and made himself a third wheel in what was clearly a loving relationship.

 

Honestly, Steve could trace his mistakes back to his birth, if he was going to be dramatic about it. 

 

He groaned, throwing a hand over his eyes. Five words from Tony had sent him in a spiral worthy of the man himself. He had always thought that Tony had a career on stage if he got tired of the engineer thing. Steve was never like this; he was levelheaded, calm, collected. He was ninety years old, for god’s sake- far too old for crushes. 

 

But Tony and Iron Man had wormed their ways under his skin, and now he couldn’t stop thinking about them. He was pretty sure Tony hated him, and he hadn’t even seen Iron Man’s face, but he was imagining them together and it  _ hurt _ . It was selfish, he knew, to be jealous of their happiness like this, but he couldn’t help it. 

 

It was harder to forget when Tony walked into the kitchen in the morning, looking like he had had a fun night with a certain metal man. His hair was in disarray and his shirt was clearly too big for him. With a pang, Steve realized it must have been Iron Man’s. 

 

“Hey, Tony,” Steve greeted, cursing the way his voice cracked. 

 

Tony, predictably, ignored him, making a beeline for the coffee machine. The man was nonverbal until he’d had his first cup, as Steve well knew by now. Steve watched fondly as Tony fumbled with the machine until he gave up and waved for JARVIS to start it. 

 

Two minutes later, Tony put his empty mug down on the counter. “Did you say something?” he asked Steve. His eyes were huge, like Bambi’s (Tony had shown him the movie a few nights ago). Steve wanted to wrap him in a hug and not let go.

 

“Just saying hello,” he repeated, smiling softly. “How’d you sleep?”

 

“Is it morning already?” Tony furrowed his eyebrows. “I was working on upgrades for Iron Man; I thought it had only been an hour or two.”

 

“It has been 18 hours,” JARVIS chimed in, disapproving. For Steve’s benefit, he added, “It has been over 36 hours since you have eaten, Sir.”

 

“Coffee is its own food group,” Tony argued. 

 

“I would’ve thought that Iron Man would bring you something,” Steve muttered. 

 

Obviously not as quietly as he thought he did, though, because Tony turned to him and looked like a deer in headlights. “Guess he was busy?” he said weakly. 

 

“I see,” Steve tried to keep the condemnation out of his tone, he really did, but he couldn’t help the spike of anger he felt towards his friend. “Let me fix you up breakfast.”

 

“You don’t have to,” Tony protested. “I’m perfectly capable of using the kitchen, Steve.”

 

“You lit it on fire last time,” Steve reminded him. “Besides, I like cooking for you.”

 

Tony went quiet and Steve worried he had said too much. “Okay,” Tony said grudgingly. “But only because you enjoy it.”

 

“I’ll make you an omelet,” said Steve, already gathering the ingredients. He liked to pack as many vegetables in there as he could; otherwise, Tony survived solely on protein bars and coffee. At least this way Steve could get the engineer to eat his vitamins. 

 

“I know what you’re up to, you know,” Tony said nonchalantly. Steve froze in place; he thought he had been hiding his crush pretty well. “And I maintain that coffee has all the vitamins that I need.”

 

Steve breathed out a sigh of relief. “You’ve uncovered my evil plot,” he deadpanned. “I’m trying to keep you healthy. Oh, the horror.”

 

“Keep it up, Rogers, I’ll kick your ass,” Tony muttered, but Steve hoped he wasn't imagining the undercurrent of fondness.

 

“How are you going to do that if you don’t eat right?” Steve teased. He flipped the omelet in its pan. 

 

“What are you, my mom?” Tony rolled his eyes. “I’ll pu- I mean, I’ll get Iron Man to do it, obviously. I delegate; it’s my prerogative as management.”

 

Steve smacked the back of Tony’s head lightly and set the omelet in front of him. “Eat,” he directed. “Delegate later, Mr. Management.”

 

“You'll pay for that slight in five to seven business days,” Tony warned, voice muffled through the food he shoved in his mouth.

 

“I’m trembling in fear.”

 

Tony flipped him off. 

 

“Sir, if I may remind you, you have a meeting that Miss Potts has is mandatory, or she will, and I quote, castrate you with a rusty spoon,” JARVIS intoned, breaking the comfortable silence. 

 

“Fuck,” Tony swore. He stood quickly, muttering something to himself that Steve couldn’t hear. “I gotta go, Steve. Thanks for breakfast.”

 

“Anytime, Tony,” Steve smiled at the whirlwind that was Tony Stark, hoping he didn’t look to besotted as Tony ran out of the room. 

 

He made to clean up breakfast, a familiar routine to him. He liked the domesticity (he liked it even more when Tony was able to stay and help, when they got to be together for a few minutes longer, but he put a lid on that train of thought as soon as it came. He couldn’t think like that, not anymore). 

 

A familiar clanking interrupted his morose thoughts.

 

“Shellhead,” Steve said, turning to face Iron Man. His voice was fond, as much as he tried to hide it.

 

“Winghead,” Iron Man said back. His faceplate was as impossible to read as ever, but the set of his shoulders suggested amusement. 

 

“Do you have plans for the day?” asked Steve. “We could watch a movie, if you’re not busy?”

 

“I wish,” Iron Man said regretfully. “But Mr. Stark is in meetings all day. I have to do my bodyguard thing- my other job.”

 

Steve nodded. “You know, you don’t have to call him Mr. Stark,” he ventured. “I mean, not anymore. We all know you’re an item.”

 

“Oh,” Iron Man said mildly. “I’d forgotten.”

 

“You’re not mad, are you?” Steve wished, like usual, that he could see his friend’s face, if only to know what he was feeling. “I know Tony goes over the top, sometimes.”

 

“Oh course not,” said Iron Man. “It’s fine. Really.”

 

Steve frowned. Something was off. “Iron Man, he’s not just a fling.” He knew that it was none of his business, he did, but he couldn’t help but to imagine heartbreak writing itself on Tony’s handsome face if Iron Man wasn’t as invested as he was.

 

Iron Man made a choking noise. “Cap,” he stuttered. “It’s not- we’re not- it’s not like that.”

 

“It is,” Steve sighed in disapproval. “Tony is completely gone on you, can’t you see that? Just… don’t hurt him, Shellhead.”

 

“Okay,” Iron Man’s voice was tight with something Steve couldn’t decipher. “Good talk, Cap. I have to, um, go now.”

 

“Stay safe, Shellhead,” Steve called after him, but Iron Man was already gone. 

 

Steve sighed, abandoning the last of the dishes in the sink. He headed towards the gym; there was a punching bag calling his name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is tony blowing off a meeting so that he can gaze longingly into steves eyes? the answer will not surprise you
> 
> (yes he is)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy!

It had been weeks and Tony was ready to throw himself off of the Tower. JARVIS would catch him, of course, and being bridal carried indoors by the Iron Man suit would be humiliating, but it was the principle of the thing. 

 

Since he had made what was arguably the stupidest decision of his life (or, as Rhodey said, he had reverted to DUM-E mode for an audience), Tony had appeared on tons of talk shows to dish about his relationship with Iron Man. He was certain it was Pepper’s way of getting back at him for spoiling her fun. The several shirts she had bought with their ship name (the mashup of Iron Man and Tony Stark had come to be called  _ Irony _ , which she found hilarious) only supported that. 

 

The problem was that Tony had never known how to back down. Always having the last word was something of a trademark for him. He couldn’t retract his statement, explain that it was all a big joke, not even to his team. 

 

Tony had received a shovel talk from Clint, who he didn’t know even  _ liked _ Iron Man. Natasha had given him- both versions- a significant glare, and the less Tony thought about Bruce’s talk to Iron Man about himself, the better. 

 

He didn’t want to dwell on Steve’s pinched face whenever he (either version) was in the room. The soldier looked like someone had killed his puppy, then force fed him a lemon at gunpoint (analogies weren't Tony’s strong suit). He definitely didn’t want to think about how he was avoiding Steve, just so he wouldn’t have to see that look.

 

Tony didn’t know  _ why _ he would look like that, and it was bothering him. He had thought that he and Steve got along, but their relationship had been strained since Tony announced that he was dating Iron Man. He couldn’t imagine that it was a gay thing; Tony’s sexuality was well-documented and Steve (through SHIELD) had to have known. But Tony couldn’t think of any other reason why Steve wouldn’t approve.

 

Of course, when Tony told all of that to Pepper, she laughed in his face. 

 

“Figure it out,” she told him. “You know, for a genius, you’re an absolute idiot. You always miss the most obvious things.”

 

“Don’t be mean to me,” Tony whined. “I am having a crisis, Pepper.”

 

She snorted, taking a long sip of wine. “No, you’re not,” she said. “A crisis is what’s going to happen when you finally figure it out. I predict a three-day lab bender, minimum, before Steve breaks your doors.”

 

“If you know, you should tell me,” he pleaded. “I hate not knowing things.”

 

“It’s gooey and emotional,” she warned him. 

 

“ _ Tell me _ .”

 

She considered for a moment. “Nah,” Pepper smiled wickedly. “It’ll be more fun for me this way.”

 

“You, Miss Potts, are the worst person I’ve ever met,” Tony huffed, snatching the glass from her hand and chugging it. “And you don’t deserve my good wine.”

 

“I bought that bottle.”

 

“With my money?”

 

She delicately picked up the bottle and made eye contact while drinking from it. “I run your company. Do you want it back?”

 

“Have some more wine,” he passed her glass back. “It’s good for you.”

 

“Why, thank you, Mr. Stark,” she said dryly. “How generous of you.”

 

Tony made a face at her. Before he could say something snarky, the Avengers’ Alarm blared through the building. 

 

He groaned. “Now, really?” he cursed. “I just want to drink wine and bitch, is that too much to ask?”

 

“Get going, Iron Man,” Pepper laughed. “I’ll drink the wine for you.”

 

“I’ll get you back for that!” Tony shouted as he jumped out the window, the suit assembling around him. In seconds, Iron Man was hovering in mid-air, ready for battle.

 

“Iron Man, report,” came Steve’s terse voice over the coms. 

 

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” Tony said, flying towards Central Park, where JARVIS on his HUD was telling him the battle was starting. “Situation?”

 

“Doom is pulling that  _ notice me senpai  _ bullshit with Richards again,” Clint said. “Only, Richards is out of town, so we get the pleasure of handling it.”

 

“Hawkeye! Language!” Steve chastised. 

 

“He’s not wrong,” Tony said, landing in his three-point pose next to the Captain. “Where do you want me?”

 

Tony blamed Steve’s flush on the adrenaline of battle. “Air support,” Steve decided. “I’m pretty sure we lucked out and got the flying Doom Bots today.”

 

“No Thor?” asked Tony.

 

“Off world,” Steve confirmed. “Think you can handle it by yourself up there?”

 

Tony rolled his eyes behind his faceplate. “Doom Bots are an insult to engineering,” he snorted. “Of course I can.”

 

“Then stop flirting and do it,” Natasha shouted over the coms. “I’m getting swarmed. If one of you doesn't come to back me up right now, I swear…”

 

“Coming, Itsy Bitsy,” Tony said meekly, blasting off. A pissed-off Natasha was not something he wanted to encounter, suit or not.

 

He took care of the cluster easily, his repulsor blasts cutting through the metal of the Doombots like it was nothing. Seriously, if Doom didn’t at least  _ attempt  _ to be competent, Tony was going to have to kidnap him and teach him engineering, for his own sanity. 

 

He said as much over the coms and Steve groaned. “Iron Man,” he said. “If you do that, forget us,  _ Tony  _ will kill you.”

 

Tony had forgotten about his secret identity for a second. Moments like these, he wasn’t sure how he had managed to maintain it so long, if he was being honest. Rhodey liked to say that he was just stupid enough for it to work. “I think Tony would get a kick out of it,” he said after a beat, covering the awkward pause by annihilating the bots approaching Clint.

 

“That’d be a great anniversary gift,” Clint chimed in. “Like,  _ hey, I love you, have an idiot villain to tutor _ .”

 

“Chatter,” Steve cut off Tony’s response. 

 

“Still touchy, Cap?” said Clint.

 

“Cut the chatter or you’re benched.”

 

Tony whistled, switching to a private line. “Winghead, did something crawl up your ass and die?”

 

“Chatter rules apply to you, too, Iron Man,” came Steve’s response.

 

“Roger that, Rogers,” Tony said, confused. Normally, Steve wasn’t so snippy. He wasn’t going to push, though, not mid-fight. 

 

Tony took out another squadron of Doom Bots with his artillery, aiming for the ones sneaking up on Steve. 

 

“Does anyone know where they’re coming from?” Steve grunted and swung his shield. “Iron Man, can you trace the signal?”

 

“The foot of the Baxter Building,” Tony read JARVIS’s notification. “No sign of Doom himself, though. I think he’s just being a little shit.”

 

“I’m closest,” said Steve. “Shellhead, back me up?”

 

“Always, Winghead,” Tony said, more sincerely than he meant to. “I mean, on my way.”

 

“As they say, good save, Sir,” JARVIS intoned dryly.

 

“Can it, J,” Tony said waspishly. “I don’t need your sass.”

 

“Then I suppose you  _ don’t  _ want me to tell you about the Doom Bots amassing above you?” JARVIS said innocently. 

 

Tony flipped on his back, pointing his unibeam at the cluster. “Community college in Jersey, J. Not even the nice part of Jersey, either.”

 

“If I may recommend you do that after aiding Captain Rogers?” said JARVIS. 

 

Tony turned his attention to Steve. “Shit,” he cursed. “Hold on, Cap, I’m coming.”

 

“That’s what he said,” Clint snickered quietly.

 

Steve was swamped in Doom Bots, but Tony imagined that his glare would have been legendary. “Hurry, please,” he said tightly.

 

Tony swooped down, repulsors flaring, to take out the cluster around Steve. But he wasn’t fast enough; a bot got a lucky hit in, sending Steve flying through the air and into a building with a sickening  _ crack! _

 

“ _ Steve! _ ” Tony screamed, decimating the bots and their control center with a laser and flying over to his fallen friend as fast as he could. “Steve, holy shit.”

 

Steve was lying motionless on the ground, shield fallen somewhere to his left. Tony didn’t even have to prompt JARVIS to scan vitals as he dropped to his knees to check for a pulse.

 

“Concussion detected,” said JARVIS. “But it’s healing as we speak. No major injuries.”

 

Tony breathed out a sigh of relief. “Thank god for super healing,” he said. “Steve? Can you hear me?”

 

“Loud and clear,” Steve groaned, eyes fluttering open. “Possibly too loud. My head is ringing.”

 

“That’d be the concussion, dumbass,” Tony grinned in relief. “You got concussed by a Doom Bot. How does it feel?”

 

Steve glared at him. “Probably not as bad as getting concussed by Captain America,” he threatened.

 

“Good to know you’re all normal,” Tony chuckled. “I was worried for a second.”

 

“You know me, I have a thick skull,” Steve grinned and shifted around. “Help me up?”

 

“Senior citizen having trouble standing?” teased Tony, extending a gauntleted hand to his teammate. “I can get your walker.”

 

Steve flipped him off. “Status report?” he fell back into Captain America mode, assessing the battlefield around them. 

 

“I took out the control center, and because the Doom Bots are shitty tech, they have all died,” Tony summed up. He glanced around. “I think Clint and Natasha started on clean up, unless they’ve fled to avoid it.”

 

“They’re gone,” Steve said, resigned. “Guess it’s just you and me, then.”

 

“Oh, hell no, Steve,” Tony hoped that his unimpressed expression conveyed itself through the suit. “It’s just me. You got concussed, for god’s sake. Go to medical. I’ll get started here.”

 

“Wait, what did you say?” Steve stopped for a second, face strangely intense.

 

“Um, go to medical?” repeated Tony.

 

“No, you called me  _ Steve _ ,” Steve said, gaze piercing even though his eyes were unfocused from the concussion. “You don’t do that. In fact, I’m fairly certain you never have before.”

 

“Shock?” Tony suggested, strongly considering flying away before he did something dumb, like blow his secret identity because he forgot which version of him called Steve by his given name.

 

Steve frowned. “Something’s going on with you,” he said, sounding like he had the beginnings of a solution that had been evading him. “You’ve been acting weird lately. Ever since you and Tony got together, actually...”

 

“No,  _ you’ve  _ been acting weird,” Tony denied, heart beating wildly. “What’s going on with you, huh?”

 

“Tell me the truth, Shellhead,” Steve took a step forward, putting him almost close enough to touch. Tony wasn’t sure how the conversation had gotten here, wasn’t sure where he had lost the thread. Steve looked like he was stripping Tony down to his bones, like he was seeing all of Tony’s secrets. Even with the mask hiding his face, he felt exposed. “No more hiding things.” 

 

Tony thought of all the ways he could hide, every deflection in his arsenal. He could confess to something random to throw Steve off. Hell, he could fly away if he wanted. But he was sick of hiding, if he was being honest. He wanted to tell Steve the truth, wanted to get rid of the awkwardness and barriers between them. He shoved down the parts of him screaming that Steve would hate him for lying, steeling himself.

 

“The truth is...” Tony took a deep breath and flipped up his faceplate. He met the soldier’s blue eyes, blown wide in surprise. “I am Iron Man.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof im not sure how happy i am with this chapter rip
> 
> hopefully it doesnt suck!

“Oh, thank fuck,” Steve nearly growled, pulling Tony into a rough kiss. 

 

It was everything Tony had been wanting. Steve’s lips, soft on his own, were absolutely perfect. Tony practically melted into the kiss. The armor and Steve’s strong arms were the only things keeping him upright.

 

Eventually (and regrettably), he had to pull away to breathe. He hoped his cheeks weren’t as flushed as Steve’s, whose pale Irish skin was showing exactly how affected he was. 

 

“Holy shit,” Tony panted. “Not that I’m complaining, but what was that?”

 

Steve’s flush deepened, if that was even possible. “I, erm…” he scratched the back of his neck. “I wanted to kiss you. I thought you were, you know, dating Iron Man, and then when you weren’t, I just kinda reacted. I should have asked permission, sorry. I-”

 

“I said I wasn’t complaining, Steve,” Tony smiled and leaned forward to rest his forehead against Steve’s. “I wanted to kiss you, too.”

 

“Good,” Steve whispered. “Because I kind of want to do it again.”

 

Instead of saying something snarky or teasing, Tony just connected their lips again. It was just as good as the first kiss, and Tony hoped that he’d get to do it a lot more in his future.

 

“Wait,” he pulled away slightly with a grimace. He couldn’t believe that  _ he  _ was about to say it, but… “Shouldn’t we talk about this?”

 

Steve nodded slowly. “Probably,” he said. He eyed the crowds starting to gather. They were still far enough away that Tony’s face wasn’t visible, but neither liked the idea of someone getting a photo of Tony Stark in the Iron Man suit. “Want to get out of here?”

 

“SHIELD can handle cleanup this once,” Tony agreed. He grabbed Steve delicately around the waist and flicked his faceplate down. “Hold on tight, Cap.”

 

They were back at the Tower in no time, Tony landing them without even a stumble. He was used to flying with Steve. 

 

Tony turned to the disassembly rig to distract himself. The temptation to kiss Steve’s nose, red from the cold, and run his hand through his windblown hair was harder to resist now that Tony knew what his mouth tasted like. Admirably, though, he kept his hands to himself. If he touched Steve, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to stop. He didn’t want Steve to be just a notch in his bedpost; hence, talking.

 

“So,” Steve said awkwardly, shuffling his feet. Tony had never seen the Captain look so nervous before. It was strangely endearing.

 

“So,” Tony repeated, smirking.

 

Steve made a face full of exasperated fondness. “Good talk,” he said. 

 

“I can’t believe you’re making  _ me  _ be the mature one here,” Tony huffed. “Do you know how against my personality that goes?”

 

“ _ Tony _ .”

 

He stuck his tongue out. “Okay, here goes,” Tony averted his eyes, scared of what he’d see in Steve’s when he was done. “The whole bodyguard story is bullshit. There never was one. I’m Iron Man, I’m your Shellhead. I’m sorry for lying, but-”

 

“Tony,” Steve held up a hand and cut him off. Tony chanced a look; Steve was smiling. He didn’t look like he wanted to punch Tony, which was always a good sign. “I don’t care about that. Tony, Iron Man, it’s all you. I’m sure you had good reasons for doing what you did, and they’re not really my business. Yeah, it was a shock, but it’s not that surprising.”

 

“I like to think I did the secret identity thing pretty well,” said Tony, affronted. 

 

“In hindsight, you did not,” Steve deadpanned. “I’m just oblivious.”

 

“At least you’re self aware.”

 

Steve laughed, but quickly sobered up. “I don’t want to talk about that,” he said. He motioned between the two of them with one hand. “I want to talk about this.”

 

“I don’t want to sleep with you,” Tony said quickly. Steve looked confused. “That came out wrong. I do, of course I do-”

 

“Flattering,” said Steve.

 

“-but not, like, right away?” Tony flapped his hands. He was sure he looked like an idiot. “I want to date you, actually date you, which is weird. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to do that before. But, uh, I’m a disaster. So, you might not want to say yes. Just a disclaimer.”

 

“I think I can handle your disasters, Shellhead,” Steve teased, flashing Tony a lopsided smile that Tony really wanted to kiss. “After all, you didn’t chase me away when you blew up the kitchen.”

 

“That was not my fault,” Tony protested. “That was Bruce’s fault.”

 

“No, it wasn’t,” Steve stepped closer to Tony. He angled his head down, close enough that Tony could feel his breath. “But that’s okay. I like you anyway.”

 

“What are you, twelve?” Tony scoffed, leaning in. “Who says  _ like  _ anymore, anyway?”

 

Steve rolled his eyes. “Would you prefer I said I’m sweet on you?” his Brooklyn accent came out in full force. “That I want you to be my fella? To step out with me?”

 

Tony groaned and closed the distance between them. Steve’s kisses felt like coming home. 

 

“Yes,” he breathed between kisses. “I want that. I want all of that.”

 

Steve’s smile was like a ray of sunshine. Tony could feel himself being sappy, but couldn’t find the willpower to stop.

 

“Good,” he said simply. He linked hands with Tony, an oddly innocent gesture considering he had had his tongue down Tony’s throat a second ago. Steve didn’t seem inclined to let go any time soon; Tony didn’t want him to, anyway.

 

“Want to watch a movie?” he asked, leading Steve towards the sofa. “We can cuddle and make out like teenagers. It’ll be great.”

 

Steve chuckled fondly. “I still have a few on my list,” he agreed, letting Tony arrange him into the optimal pillow position, then flop on top of him like a cat.

 

“Shitty sci fi,” Tony said. “My favorite. J?”

 

He motioned for JARVIS to turn on the TV and immediately regretted it. The news was on, and across the screen, a blurry clip played of Captain America and Iron Man making out after the battle. The banner read  _ Iron Man cheating on Tony Stark with Captain America? Or is it a super-threesome? More at 6. _

 

“I cannot win,” Tony complained, burying his face in Steve’s side. “I literally cannot win. I’m suing. I’m suing every journalist in New York for being  _ stupid _ .”

 

Steve chuckled and pressed a kiss into Tony’s hair. “Hey, Tony,” he teased. “Want to invite Iron Man to a super-threesome?”

 

“You’re the worst,” Tony grumbled. “I should go down there and set the record straight.”

 

He made to leave, but Steve grabbed his arm. “Nope!” he said cheerfully. “Remember what happened last time you did that?”

 

“I got to make out with Captain America?” 

 

“Yeah,” Steve said patiently. “But how long did it take to get there?”

 

“You have a point,” Tony conceded, letting Steve pull him onto his lap. Steve threaded his fingers through Tony’s hair, scratching soft circles like Tony was a cat. “But don’t think this conversation is over, Rogers.”

 

Steve chuckled. “I’d never dream of it.”

 

Tony yawned and stretched, letting Steve hold him. There was more to talk about, he knew, and he’d probably have to tell the team about his secret identity. There’d be questions, of course, but those were problems for later, just like the whole press thing.

 

Tony closed his eyes and snuggled closer to Steve; he’d deal with it after his nap. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> when tony explains everything to the rest of the team, bruce wins the "who is iron man?" pot that was running. natasha is very upset about this. tony does end up telling the reporters that he is sleeping with both captain america and iron man and pepper almost throws him off of the tower.

**Author's Note:**

> tell me what you thought!
> 
> comments and kudos make my day :)
> 
> hit me up on tumblr @imposter-human


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